On my mind...

I wrote this post several weeks ago, but didn't have the courage to post it. Carla sometimes reads our blog and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but it's been on my mind, so here goes....

Several weeks ago Chris's mom, Carla, was really sick. She spent several days in the hospital with pneumonia. Chris visited her there, but we didn't take the kids to see her because, well, quite frankly, trucking 5 children through the hospital is never a great idea if you plan on retaining any of your sanity. Once she was out, we went up for a visit. She is living with Chris's sister now. She has been there since we moved her out of her house in December, shortly before Christmas.

We had a wonderful visit. Traci is so accommodating and doesn't bat an eye at opening her home to our rambunctious crew.

Owen was in heaven watching the big boys play basketball.

Lily loves her dogs.


Chris even managed to sneak a nap in.
It was wonderful....but I have to say I hate reality checks. Carla had lost nearly all of the movement in her arms and hands. She could kind of move her fingers (barely). We took turns feeding her and we held the baby down close to her, but she couldn't actually hold her herself. It's been a quick deterioration, she came when Ava was born and was able to hold her independently. I think some of the loss of movement is simply from her body being worn down from being sick and maybe not the ms. She has started physical therapy and we hope she will be able to regain some strength and function in her arms and hands.
After we left I cried.
I cried because life is just not fair.
I cry now as I type this.
I cried because she danced at our wedding.
I cried because she danced at our wedding with the love of her life.
I cried because she cared for Grace and delighted in cooking meals for us after the long Saturdays we used to spend renovating our 3rd street house.
I cried because she loves to sew and has made many of us quilts.
I cried because we had to move her out of her handicap accessible dream home that her sweet husband had worked so hard to build for her.
I cried because her sweet husband is now gone.
I cried because my heart sometimes breaks for her.
I could go on and on because sometimes life is just not fair. She is truly one of the most amazing women I've ever met. In the 10+ years I've known her, I've never, even once, heard her complain about her deteriorating health. She bears the load with courage and grace. She is happy and kind and loving. I have honestly never even seen her grouchy..not even once. I don't know how she does it, but she inspires me every time I am around her. She inspires me to stand a little taller, work a little harder, and to be more patient, humble, and caring.