Once Again

Once again we are petitioning for your prayers, much like we did a short 18 months ago when Lloyd was slipping away. Chris's mom, Carla, is not well. It has taken us all somewhat by surprise. We didn't see the warning signs that the end was coming. She was hospitalized for pneumonia a month ago for a few days, but she seemed to bounce back and was able to return home fairly quickly. She even came and stayed with us the weekend of general conference and we thoroughly enjoyed her company.
She was admitted into the hospital a week and a half ago for pneumonia once again. This time the recovery hasn't been immediate. She has the worst form of ms and it is now attacking the muscles in her diaphragm. She no longer has the strength to breathe deeply or cough, so her lungs are constantly filling up with fluid. Last week she was given 2 brochostomys but her lungs continue to fill with fluid. The only option now is a tracheotomy. They will be putting one in place later today or tomorrow. It is necessary, in order to be able to more effectively suction her out so she does not asphyxiate. Unfortunately the fluid build-up is not the only concern, the ms is continuing to attack the muscles in her diaphragm and soon she will not have the strength to breathe. The future is unclear. Best case scenario, the trach surgery goes effectively, she recovers and is able to come home for a while, possibly a month or maybe two, but doctors are doubtful. Worst case, we are looking at a couple of weeks. Either way, the end is near.
We've been blowing the budget on gas money making trips to Billings to see her. She is just as gracious as ever. She is still smiling and remains the most selfless person I know. She is 59. These were suppose to be her golden years, sometimes it seems as though everything has been taken from her, her independence, her home, her husband, her health and mobility. Yet through it all, when the rest of us want to scream that this is not fair, she has never uttered a word of complaint. She radiates acceptance and peace and inspires us to do the same. I could go on, but I'm having a hard time seeing the computer screen through the tears. This is hard. Our hearts are heavy and once again breaking..

She let me take her picture even though her hair wasn't done....

A couple pics from a few years ago. Happier times when she looked more like herself.

Fun on Friday...Ava Style

When Ava was sick, I'd play this video for her. She loved it...made her smile and sometimes laugh. Something about dancing puppets just makes a person want to get their groove on, because if puppets can dance, anyone can, right?
wrong.
I can't dance.
at all.
but this video makes me want to anyway.



I've been making spaghetti sauce out of my mom's garden tomatoes. I have enough tomatoes left for one last batch, but I've been waiting for the final ones to ripen. Ava found them yesterday and helped herself.

Sadly (for me), I've noticed subtle signs lately that she is shifting from baby to toddler. Whereas before, I could count on her staying nearby, even underfoot, wherever I happened to be working, now she explores in her own direction and I am forever hunting her down when she is too quiet and I know she must be into something...like tomatoes or fireplace ash or dvds (she can open both the fireplace and entertainment center doors now). She beelines to the fridge and dishwasher as soon as either of them are opened, although what really gets her moving are the dog and cat. She waves her arms emphatically as soon as she spots them and then crawls for all she's worth to get to them, then she mercilessly pokes at their eyes and pulls their fur until someone intervenes.

Just a few more things to remember about Ava right now:
She has recently decided, much to my dismay, that one nap a day is sufficient for her.
She has not discovered the playground that is the toilet...yet.
Her eyes twinkle when she watches Owen, they seem to have a special connection.
She loves popcorn and we can hardly break off the hulls fast enough before she is begging for more. (I swear it's genetic, Chris consumes an absurd amount)
Everyone (and I do mean everyone) who meets her comments on her eyes.
She is a little bit shy and buries her head in my shoulder when I'm visiting with people she doesn't know.
She pushes a little chair around the kitchen and uses it for support so she can "walk."
Her big sisters and brother think she walks (or crawls) on water and comments like, "Wow. I didn't know she could do that," and "she's sooo smart and sooo cute," are frequent.
She's been with us nine months now, but her "newness" has yet to wear off. There are still squabbles over whose turn it is to hold her.
To say she is adored would be a vast understatement.

In the dishwasher.

 In the fridge.

On my fridge.

The best things in life are the nearest:

Breath in your nostrils,

light in your eyes,

flowers at your feet,

duties at your hand,

the path of right just before you.

Then do not grasp at the stars,

but do life's plain, common work as it comes,

certain that daily duties and daily bread

are the sweetest things in life.

-Robert Louis Stevenson

...just to remind me on days and weeks when the laundry is piled high, bathrooms desperately need scrubbed, and I wake up to last night's dinner dishes still sitting on the counter all crusty, and the baby's been sick and it feels like I haven't slept in days, that this is what life is about. It's not just about the beautiful moments when things are in order and everyone is smiling. There is opposition in all things.

The ebb and flow of life brings challenges and moments of desperation, but that's what it's all about. We remember the good times and the easy times, and focus on our blessings, and keep moving forward, and the trials come and go and we are left stronger and better from them.
And you didn't need me to tell you all of that because you already know it, I was just reminding myself before I go tackle the laundry and dishes and begin my daily fly-killing rampage.

And because every post needs pictures, I'll spare you pics of the mountains of laundry and dirty dishes and leave you with a few glimpses into the sweet moments of everyday life....

A book shared between sisters....

Bike rides with brother.

Spectacles.

 Conversation over a favorite snack of pretzels and cheese.....

Brown-eyed boys

and blue-eyed babies.

"Owen Go Pishing"

All summer the ranch beckoned our return, so return, we did (at the end of August). We went back with our camper, four wheelers and fishing poles in tow and played one last time before summer's end.
We "camped" there. It was camping mama's way......where we bring the camper and sleep in it and fish and boat, but there is running water and flushing toilets, sinks for hand washing and a kitchen for when mama doesn't feel like cooking over the fire, and there are even wide open indoor spaces for letting babies down to crawl and for when it pours rain so mama doesn't go crazy locked up in the camper with 5 excited littles....it's really the best of both worlds for everyone.

Owen couldn't wait to go fishing, or "pishing", as he called it. While Chris had one of the big girls out, I found him in the back of the truck dreaming about his turn...

He finally got his own turn and he was one happy boy.

Grace and Chris fishing the creek.

Boating on the pond.

Owen played with these worms forever. I even looked over to see him touching one against his tongue and doing a little taste test.

I've written before about the ranch being a magical place. It holds a certain peace and solitude that fills your soul as you breathe in it's clear air, but that's not all....it may well be the only place on earth where the trees grow breakfast. They have since I was a little girl and they still do. Above, Emma is reaching for some zucchini bread from one of those magic trees. Their branches bear a variety of breakfast items from muffins and bananas to cheese sticks and those little mini-boxes of cereal that mom never buys.

There is always a little sparkle in those bedhead-pajama-clad kids' eyes as they excitedly scurry out to see what surprises the trees have grown while they were sleeping.

I am remembering

I am remembering now just how much I love fall. I always have, but I think I forgot. I fell head over heels in love with summer. There is just so much to love about summer (especially when your hubs is a teacher;) and this summer was a good one. I was sad to see it come to an end. I didn't think I was ready to send my family back to school, but time marches on whether we are ready or not.
Fall has brought good changes at our house. Structure and schedules. My girls love school and I can't help but share in their enthusiasm when they excitedly chatter in the mornings about what their day will bring and race to meet the bus. But my favorite part is when they race home from the bus and they come through the front door out of breath and happy because they're home. They drop their backpacks and shoes and jackets just inside the front door in a giant heap. They usually have something they just can't wait to tell me and sometimes they all talk at once and it makes me laugh. They feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the school day, and I am glad they can go there to learn and grow. And I am thankful Chris is just down the hall from them. He can eat lunch with them and wink at them in the halls, so even when they are away from home, they are never far from someone who loves them.

And because it's fall, we visited the pumpkin patch on Monday.

Emma and Lily picked their pumpkins in record time. They just scanned the field for the largest ones and took a seat on them until Chris came to haul them to the van.

Don't let Emma's expression fool you, she was totally thrilled to be there, she just likes to pose serious for the camera right now.

Owen was less decisive in his pumpkin picking. He'd pick one up, walk ten steps, see another and trade the one he was carrying for it. He repeated this sequence until it was time to go. He didn't end up with the funky one he is holding in the picture, instead he brought home a scrumptious looking sugar pumpkin that is sure to make a delicious pie....that is, if I can talk him into not turning it into a jack-o-lantern.

I'm not sure what method Grace used for selecting hers, all I know is she wandered every inch of that patch until she found her top pick.

Sometimes Ava makes this face when she is content and happily just watching her world go by. I love it.

How Bingo saved our summer

We have a rule (like everybody probably does) about having your chores and homework done before having TV or wii time. It works pretty well during the school year. The girls really don't have a lot of time in the afternoons and evenings between chores, homework, dinner and family activities, so I don't have to worry about them spending too much time in front of the TV, but during the summer it was a whole different story. Their chores are simple and can be completed in a matter of minutes, so they'd get up and finish their chores and assume that the TV was free game for the rest of the day. I'd encourage them to pick another activity like read or play outside, but they'd whine and tell me, "but my chores are done"....and then I'd start in on my lecture about how too much time on the TV makes us grouchy and it's not good for your brain and body and so on....
It was pretty clear after the first few weeks of summer that a new plan needed to be implemented so we started bingo and it was a huge success. They could earn bingos by doing constructive activities like reading and playing with one another. Once they had bingo, they could cash it in for 30 minutes on the wii or TV, or 50 cents depending on if they were in the mood for money or screen time.

Unconventional F.H.E.

Yesterday, I had really good intentions for Family Home Evening. I am not super-crafty, but thought we could make these cuties, and even if they didn't turn out quite like hers, I figured the kids love projects and they seem simple enough. Unfortunately, I didn't have any orange tissue paper in my stash and neither did our local grocery store, so I was racking my brain for a plan b when Grace paraded through the door with 4 pieces of posterboard and announced that she needed help making campaign posters. I figured why not let everyone join in the torture fun, and turned it into our FHE activity. It turned out to be a total hit and the kids were thrilled to be involved.....and I was thrilled that we were able to whip all four out in 15 minutes flat and I didn't have to stay up cutting and pasting.

I think it's safe to say that even if she doesn't win the election on Thursday, she is a winner in a few of these kids' eyes.
Added bonus for me: an impromptu photo shoot in the front yard where my girl who usually dodges the camera, had an incentive to actually cooperate.....

I'd have to say it was a succesfull, albeit unconventional, FHE.
Tonight's agenda: Write a campaign speech.