Somehow, the cut has transformed her (or maybe it's me). Every time I look at her I can't get over how grown-up she looks. I caught glimpses of it before, but now it hits me hard every time I look in her direction. It makes me proud and panicky all at once. I am so proud of who she is, but I also see just how quickly she is growing up right before my eyes and I panic a little and hope I have been and still am teaching her all she will need to know as she becomes more independent in this world. A world with lots that is good if you will just take the time to look for it, but a world full of so much evil that it can literally bombard you from every direction if you aren't ready for it.
This world is hard on girls and quite frankly it scares me spitless to think about some of the things the young girls today will have to face. How can I truly prepare mine for the blows society will send their way? How can I make sure they know they are loved and valued beyond their own comprehension so they will be strong enough to walk away when something isn't good for them? How do you walk the delicate balance between giving them their independence and sheltering them from the things you know will bring them sorrow?
I really like the ages my children are currently at. I am (for the most part) very comfortable with the challenges I face with them. Generally speaking, most days, my biggest concerns deal with a little bit of back-talk, keeping bottoms and noses clean and straightening up a few toddler fiascoes along the way. I can "fix" nearly everyone's problems right now. I can make everyone laugh and smile and can usually chase their worries away with a simple pep-talk. I don't look forward to the day when I will lose that control, when I won't be able to lift the weight of the world off their shoulders by simply giving them a tickle or a hug or a bedtime talk.
Some days I worry so much about what's to come that it nearly consumes me and I wish that time would slow down a little so I would have more time to try and "get it right." But time just seems to fly faster, so I just hold on to these little ones with all my might. I try to be near them every waking moment so that maybe somehow my presence or my influence will sink deep in their souls and they will never wonder where to turn when the going gets rough, it will just be second nature. And I hope that I will be their soft place to land and that home and family will be where they turn for peace and support.
It would be nice if there were a guarantee, a black and white checklist that you could maneuver through and if you just made sure you got it all crossed off then you'd get your guarantee...your guarantee that your kids would be ok and they would make it through life with their characters and testimonies intact, but since there isn't I guess I will just keep taking the days as they come and being thankful for the time I still have to do a little better and thankful to be a part of this motherhood journey and above all thankful for these 5 little spirits that have been entrusted to me in all my imperfectness.
I just love this girl. She is beautiful and smart, helpful, kind and tender and I am so thankful that somehow I managed to get lucky enough to have her in my life.
7 comments:
You are such a good writer! The challenges and temptations our kids are going to live through scare me too. I bet you are doing a great job raising them. Just love them and be a good example. Thats all we can do.
WOW!!! So well said, I already worry about all those things, and it is comforting to hear your prespective on things. Thanks!!! I just caught up on all your other posts and pictures, sounds like life is busy as ever, I love seeing your pictures! Love you guys!
I know how you feel. Sometimes I wish I could just keep them close to me and not let them go (or grow!) If you find a way to keep them little let me know...:)
You are a great mom and I think that your girls are getting taught from your great example.
Glad your back in the blog world, I love reading your writing and thoughts. Thanks for sharing!
What a great post. I think you said it perfect. Very scary indeed! Sounds like you are doing a great job raising your family. You have beautiful girls (and boy) :)
That's so neat that Grace did that. My McKenna also donated 13 inches to Locks of Love! Pretty awesome thing. I'm also scared of all the challenges that my girls will have to endure. I'm going to have a 6th grader next year and that terrifies me! I know she will probably be ok but I guess I don't want them to grow up so fast.
Well said! This is what I think about everyday and pray that Craig and I are teaching our kids what they need to know as they grow, what to do in times of sorrow or question, and tell them we love them everyday several times. It is scarey...but ready or not here it comes!
I LOVE how you express your feelings, they are so real and heartfelt!!
Being a parent is scary and a huge responsibility. Now that I'm past this stage of my life, not that my job of being a parent is over...it's never over, there are a lot of things I see more clearly. Isn't that how it works...hindsight?! Try to remember to let them be kids, don't push them so hard in every direction, just enough to help them be successful adults. Like my wise Dani always said to me...will this really matter in 10 years or more importantly in Eternity?!! If not, let it go!! That's a hard one...letting it go, hurt feelings, coaches, girl stuff, boyfriends, etc...
Remember the blessings from Family Home Evening, scripture study and family prayer. It's huge!! You'll be just fine, you're an excellent Mother and your children are blessed to have you!! :-)
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